I think about all the visits I have had to different doctors, tests, the ER...what would have happened to me if I didn't keep pushing? Would I have fallen through the cracks, like so many others who have genealogical challenges?
Women tend to downplay our symptoms. This doesn't just apply to issues relating to our uterus and surrounding organs, but we have this tendency to just keep calm and move on. By minimizing symptoms that aren't going away and pushing that pain down deeper, we aren't doing ourselves any favours. When it comes to our loved ones, though, oh yes, we will prioritize them and keep pushing them to make a doctor's appointment, follow up on results. Why not ourselves?
One of my recent trips to the emergency room in 2021 made me feel like I was completely unseen, and has resulted in true PTSD. I was hemorrhaging and in extreme pain, so my husband Nick brought me to the ER. I explained my symptoms and was simply hooked up to an IV with saline. My bleeding seemed to subside, but I knew that was not the end of it (not my first rodeo). I was discharged, and after even insisting that I needed more medical intervention, was sent home. Let's just say I barely got out of our car once we got home before the bleeding got worse. I could barely walk into the ER, and spent all night heavily bleeding. It was my first time pulling the emergency cord in a hospital bathroom, and I was told to calm down. I kept asking for when a member of the Gyne team would see me, but told, another hour, another hour. The nurse who tended to me grew increasingly annoyed.
Hours of heavy bleeding later, I was brought to imaging to had a transpelvic ultrasound. I actually thought I was going to die, I prayed while I was wheeled around the hospital on a blood-soaked stretcher. The male tech and doctor who attended to my test made me feel ashamed of all of the blood that I had shed all over the room, and how challenging it made the procedure. The female tech was extremely kind and gave me the dignity to try to help me soak up the bleeding. A janitor waited around wherever I was to clean the floors and walls. It truly looked like a horror movie.
A doctor from the Gyne team came to see me and was extremely alarmed at how low my hemoglobin had gotten and the treatment I received. I was swiftly attended to like I was experiencing a true medical emergency...finally. If I was bleeding like this from another part of my body would I have been treated differently? I would think so. Because of COVID I had no family member with me to advocate for me. It pains me to think if Nick was with me how much my experience would have been different. Or should I have yelled and caused more of a commotion? To be clear, I am aware that those working in the medical field have already been through so much during the pandemic, I can't imagine the burnout and conditions that continue. But how do we get attention in an efficient and respectful way? I tried. I tried being polite, and it almost killed me.
When it comes to our health concerns, many of us have been gaslighted, minimized, and the pain gap is real. It's even worse for people of colour. I came across an article from The Atlantic by Joe Fassler which really struck a chord with me. It retells a story of Joe's wife, Rachel, who experienced true sexism in the emergency room due to an ovarian torsion, which is when an ovary or fallopian tube twists and cuts off blood supply. The pain associated with this is an eleven out of ten. This article is validating and just one of the many MANY examples of us ladies who have been cast aside, made to wait for medical intervention. Joe watched his wife helplessly until she was taken to imaging and seen by a doctor who knew how much pain Rachel was in.
An ovarian torsion, cyst, endometriosis or fibroid pain flare can be sudden, seemingly come on from nowhere. Our conditions can be chronic, worsen over time, or similarly sudden as to what happened to Rachel Fassler. I have experienced similar, and Nick has witnessed my pain flares and associated emotional breakdowns that come with this. Similar to Rachel, I too thought that I was going to need an emergency hysterectomy - given the state I was in, I had accepted my fate. I am extremely grateful this was not the case for me.
All I can say is keep pushing! Like you would advocate for a loved one. Keep asking questions. If you don't understand something, ask. If something doesn't feel right, speak up. Get a second, third, fourth opinion. I know it is hard, it took me over ten years to find a gynaecological doctor and surgeon who has finally made me feel seen, and I am forever grateful for her.
Article referenced above: https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2015/10/emergency-room-wait-times-sexism/410515/
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